I came across this article on CNN. While I agreed with most of it, I didn't get anything close to satisfaction for having others reaffirm the attitudes of some people. It just makes me sad.
I know too many people like this, both male and female -- most single but a few in some unhappy relationships.
You cannot expect a happy, functioning relationship to just fall in your lap. I'm sorry, it won't happen. To paraphrase one of my favorite shows ever: This isn't Disney; it's life. Contrary to popular belief, most things in life really are work. When you get married or enter a truly committed relationship, that isn't your happily ever after. There is no such thing as happily ever after because this is no "ever after." You can be happy, and I hope you are. But, it is never lasting. Relationships are never stagnant; they are fluid, constantly changing, practically every minute.
I fully believe that people can absolutely be happy on their own. But, in today's society with so many expectations for monogamy and a life partner, I think it is more challenging to be -- there are expectations to get married and find your soul mate, "the one," etc. But there is no such thing as the perfect relationship or the perfect person for you, and the sooner people accept that, the more open they are to others, the easier it becomes to find someone you are compatible with.
A Softer World: 1248
8 years ago
2 comments:
I don't have time to read the CNN article now, but I think I'll like it. Some women really should just shut up.
I think beyond the fact that being single in our modern society (and really in any society or culture) is difficult (especially with regard to our views on family and women's rights-which I can discuss further if you want, for example we insist that women be independent but then neglect to provide the emotional and psychological support for such independence), being unhappy while single, I personally believe, is more a sign of other problems going on in a woman's mind. Being unhappy because one is single can stem from social anxiety disorder, depression of numerous forms, chronic inferiority disorders, and a whole slew of other issues that manifest themselves as the inability to meet people and have healthy relationships. So when we talk about women who are unable to be happy being single, I think we are really talking about symptoms of a greater problem, one that is rarely discussed the way it should be in the US.
On a different note, I have a whole list of things that, were I single, I would do in a heartbeat (interestingly, moving out west with no real job, no money, and no commitments was one of them, and it made me not single anymore...) but that I cannot do now that I have another's feelings and needs to consider. So you definitely give up some things for others...
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